BLESSED but tiiiirrrrreeeedddd

Today had been full of emotion, exhaustion, and blessings!  Yep, I said BLESSINGS!  My phone has buzzed off the hook, Facebook had multiple notifications, and I won't even go down the path of emails and emails and more emails!  This girl is BLESSED!

I was reading this morning for homework that I had and saw a quote that said something like, "Sometimes God closes doors because it is time for you to move forward.  He knows you won't move unless circumstances cause you to".  Boy, does that describe me to a "T".  I truly feel like that God has been closing doors, cleaning house, wiping away junk...for a few days now for us to be able to see what he has in store for our home.

Most of my friends know that we have one going to college in the fall...I know I don't look old enough to have one going to college, but I assure you I do!!!  I have had to come to the reality that God is closing a door in my life (as a mom to a little girl) and opening a door for me to be a mom to a young lady.  I also have realized that He gave us a little kick in the behind when Reed got sick.  See, we had gotten complacent with Reed's diabetes.  Don't get me wrong, he manages it better most days that I would be able to in a life time, but I felt like I knew how to live with this thing...the big D.

I know now that God was saying, "Tammy, you have poured your heart, soul, and mind supporting, praying for, and loving this young man, but you don't have to be the leader, the best, or accomplish all of it in less than two years".  What am I getting at????  It is time for me to sit back and listen, ask questions and listen, but most of all....listen to others with much more experience but most of all to GOD!

I pray you are listening to Him!

Why is God's Grace So Amazing?

It has been a long time since I have posted, and today I feel the need to post...

I am posting tonight because of the chain of events over the past three days.  Reed came home from school Tuesday telling me his throat was hurting, so I did my regular regimen of questions:  do you think you have fever, do you feel sick, could it be allergies, and the ultimate WHAT HAS YOUR BLOOD SUGAR BEEN?  All of these questions were answered "normally"...or what "normally" is for a 16 year old diabetic boy!

During the night Tuesday night (I call it God telling me to get up), Reed came and climbed in bed with us telling us his whole body was hurting, and he couldn't swallow.  Did I think it was T1D related, nope, I knew he was getting sick, probably with strep throat...so the very first thing I did was call our family doc on Wednesday morning, made an appointment, and the started down the path of what is required for his diabetes.  In our world we call it a "sick day plan"...checking his blood glucose level and making him "pee" in a cup to check his keytones.  Well, the dreaded appeared, for the first time ever....his keytones were LARGE!  I didn't panic...God's grace is amazing.

When we got to the doctor she did a strep test, and yep it was positive, so we left, felling good that we knew it was strep, that I needed to hydrate him as much as possible, and get him home to rest, drink, rest, drink, rest, and DRINK.  By Wednesday night, he felt terrible...nauseous (he had a phenergan shot  in the dr's office that morning), running fever, and his keytones were LARGE.

Wednesday morning we got up and returned to the doctor...he received two bags of IV fluids, another shot of phenergan, and told us to come home and drink, drink, DRINK.  Needless to say, we did but could not get the keytones under control, resulting in going to the hospital Wednesday night...

I am running on a few hours of sleep right now, but I am sharing all of this because after his first round of blood work, we were told we would not have to go to PICU, but to a room in the Children's Hospital...hurrraaayyyy, right? WRONG!  How can you be happy for your 16 year old baby to be poked and prodded, not "peeing" but 2 times in a 14-18 hour period that is being filled with fluids from an IV bag hanging over head...

I am not telling you this for pity, I am telling you this because, as exhausted as I am...GOD's GRACE IS AMAZING!  Today we were told what a great job we did in getting him to the hospital before he did go into ketoacidosis, and that his numbers reflected that he was severely dehydrated with the dreaded stomach virus that has been going around.

God's grace is amazing because we have a phenomenal group of endocrinologists in Greenville that are wise, and have the ability to make the parent feel strong, competent, and encouraged.  God's grace is amazing because there are real parents that support T1D and pull together to make us feel loved, supported, and gives us the ability to share experiences.  But bigger than any of these?  God's grace is amazing because as down and discouraged as I was, I have the biggest and bravest God on my side that  His grace taught my heart to fear, but also relieved ALL my fears.  This song has played through my head for the past few days...Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that save a wretch like me....How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed....

These are my amazing examples of Grace in my life

I am praying that if you took the time to read my blog, that God's grace calms all your fears, God's grace grants you peace, and you realize GOD'S GRACE IS SOOOOO AMAZING BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND ME!

I know to look at him on the outside, he looks normal...but on the inside he has the biggest heart, sweetest soul, and yep has type 1 diabetes!

Don't worry about it......

..."I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?...seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:19-34).


I had the most wonderful opportunity this past weekend to enjoy my Mom and my Dad...at the same time.  As rushed, event filled, and beautiful as it was, I still am in awe of the beauty of which I am blessed.  The weekend began on a plane trip with my Dad (and Jill), 7:10 departing GSP, arriving in Chicago at 7:55.  The joy of my heart glowed as my Daddy listened to music (via an iPod) and sang at the top of his lungs "The Baptism of Jesse Taylor" by the Gaither's.  I almost cried!  What he didn't realize is that since he had the iPod in his ears he had no idea how loud he was singing, and amazingly enough, no one on the plane minded either!


After arriving in "Che-cago", as Daddy pronounces it, we rode with Shelley, Scott, and lil Scotty to Elkhart, IN.  I had the most amazing opportunity to stay with Scott's Mom and Dad.  What amazing people!  Their hospitality, love, and support could never be repaid.  Friday night was the rehearsal party, and then Saturday we attended a bridal shower for Cassy.  Intrigued by her beauty and innocence I watched her open gifts, smile, and enjoy her moment with Shelley at her side.  However, not so far away sat my Mama...so proud and happy to have her three girls near.  I felt my heart sink when I worried whether we were including her and having the desire to want to stand on the table and say, "hey, have you met my Mom?".  She looked beautiful.  


After the shower, we began the orchestrated event of dressing for the wedding.  As I watched...Cassy was putting on makeup and laughing, Mama was smiling and pulling out the flower arrangements she had helped with, and Shelley was...well Shelley was Shelley, she contributed her wit, smile, and warmth.  But most of all our sweet Hannah and Scotty were glowing.  What is it that a wedding really does bring out the best of everyone involved?


After being dressed and ready to walk down the isle, I looked at my Daddy and realized he was crying.  The time had come that his baby girl was walking down the isle, and he would be giving her to the third and last official "Owens Brother" (as Scott likes to refer to himself, Toby, and now Patrick).  As he cried, I looked at Mama and she too was crying, and as I looked at Shelley, I realized we were all three grown up.  Not that it was a mystery, but that the finality of the event we had been dreading (not negatively), looking forward to, and now witnessing had come to fruition...Cassy (that sucked a passy until she was 6, played with Jesse Harris all of her life, and babysat my own children when she was in middle and high school) was getting married.  I really didn't think I would have such difficulty with this life event, however I have.  


You see, I have worried about tomorrow until it has made me ill, I have worried about family, friends, and events that I should have placed in God's hands...never to be taken away from my heavenly Father.  You see, my Daddy did all of this along time ago when he decided to stop drinking...in closing, I want you to read the lyrics of "The Baptism of Jesse Taylor":


Among the local taverns they'll be a slack in business 
'Cause Jesse's drinkin' came before the groceries and the rent
Among the local women they'll be a slack in cheatin'
'Cause Jesse won't be be steppin' out again.

They baptized Jesse Taylor in Cedar Creek last Sunday
Jesus gained a soul and Satan lost a good right arm
They all cried "Hallelujah" as Jesse's head went under
'Cause this time he went under for the Lord.


The reality of knowing that my Mama and my Daddy are not getting any younger (and neither am I) hit hard this weekend.  I still hear Daddy singing, "They all cried Hallelujah as Jesse's head went under".  My Daddy had church on that airplane, all by himself!  


My prayer for you today, is that you find the time to tell someone (just one person) how much they mean to you. I pray that God blesses you and shows you the revelation of His love and power.  Where there is pain, provide peace, where there is self-doubt, provide grace, and where there is hatred, provide love.  The only thing that would have made this weekend any more wonderful would have been for my children and husband to be by my side.  Don't worry about tomorrow, place your worries in God's hands.

Paul & Barnabas....

...strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God," they said (Acts 14:22).

Paul and Barnabas were friends, yet they had somewhat of a "falling out".  During their first journey together in Col. 4:10, they took Barnabas' cousin, John Mark, however he returned home to Jerusalem along the way (Acts 13:13).  Later on a second journey, Barnabas wanted to take Mark, but Paul resisted. In the New Testament, it is clear that there was a "sharp contention" that developed between them (Acts 15:36-41).  They couldn't reach an agreement and they split up.  From that point on they never saw each other again!

Can you imagine?  Well, I can, being in such a dispute that you never wanted to see each other again?  However, we fall in the pit that when we have this happen we walk around, disappointed, and sad, but what Paul and Barnabas did, even though they didn't do it together, was accomplish MORE WORK for the Lord because of how their disagreement was handled.  

We will never know whether it was Paul or Barnabas that was wrong, some arguments imply that Paul was stubborn, too stubborn to give in, however there was not anything else said about the work of Barnabas and Mark.  I feel a pull toward Barnabas.  How many times do we need a second chance?  

This is proven when Paul even finds John Mark useful in his ministry.  Somethings I would like for you to consider:

1.  Their work did not disrupt the love and respect that Paul and Barnabas had for one another.  They moved on.  In times of struggle, sadness, or down right arguing do you move on and keep your eyes on the prize?  

2.  Personal conflict is openly evident on the pages of the New Testament.  Luke was led by the Holy Spirit to include this part of the narrative.  I know that my instincts, when writing, I want to leave out all of the "bad" things.

3.  There are always lessons to be mastered.

As I close, I want to ask you to examine, who is your hero (it has to be someone besides God or Jesus).  What did that person do to make you look up to them and see them as a hero?  I have quite a few....just to name some of them:

1.  Mary Magdalene---think of the shame and sorrow she went through---did she bring some of it on herself?  SURE!  But she kept her eyes on the prize!

2.  Sonia Sotomayer---she was 8 years old when she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  In 2009, when she was elected, some questioned whether her "condition" (I love it when people call T1D that, haha!) would affect her ability to serve.  In her climb she studied at Princeton and Yale and then found herself sitting on the nation's highest court.  She is quoted saying "I am an ordinary person who has been blessed with extraordinary opportunities and experiences".  WOW!

3.  Reed Horton---I think this is a given!  Poor fella has been plagued with his first stomach virus since being diagnosed and has been a champ.  Even in his times of weakness, he is such a blessing.  When he is down, he leans heavily on the Father and on his mom.  I have let him down so many times, just as I have let Brooke down, however I continue to keep my eyes on the prize...I know that in heaven my Reed will be healed and have no more needles or pain.  I know that he is young, and his mission is not nearly over.  I also know that when I prayed for him, the night he was born, I asked God, just as Hannah did (Reed's first name is Samuel) to use him for the glory of His name.  Samuel in the bible was a peacemaker and leader....have you met my Reed?

Most of you that read my blog know I love music...I want to leave you with a verse from a favorite old hymn---

Trials dark on every hand, and we cannot understand

All the ways of God would lead us to that blessed promised land;

but He guides us with His eye, and we'll follow till we die,

for we'll understand it better by and by.

By and by, when the morning comes,

when the saints of God are gathered home,

we'll tell the story of how we've overcome,

for we'll understand it better by and by.

Are your children....

I am sure that when you first read the tag line you anticipated me asking if your children were smart, happy, accomplished, healthy?  But nope, I want to know do your children feel blessed?  I think of ways we bless our children and show them favor...but really do they feel blessed?

"Ah, the smell of my son it is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed" (Genesis 27:27).  This scripture is about when Jacob received Isaac's blessing.  Jacob deceived Isaac into thinking he was Esau, the older son, by bringing him game to eat and wine to drink.  Since Isaac was very old, he had asked Esau to bring him food, prepare it, and to allow Isaac to give him his blessing.  What Isaac didn't know was that Rebekah was listening (his wife) and she went to Jacob (the younger son) and told him of the request.  She even went so far as telling Jacob that if Isaac didn't believe it was Esau she would take all the blame for it.  How often have you been willing to take the blame for something you put one of your children up to?  Better yet, how often do you plot your child against their father (this is another blog for another day)?

All through chapter 27 the common emphasis is on Isaac's blessing for his son.  Do you provide a blessing to your children?  No matter our age, the approval of our parents affects how you view yourself and for ability to pass that approval on to your children, spouse, and friends.  Unfortunately, some people spend a lifetime looking for this acceptance.  This is not only vital to our self esteem, but our emotional well being, and self worth.  Do you, as a parent, struggle with accepting your children for who they are, maybe because your parents NEVER accepted you for who you are.  Maybe your father wasn't home, your mother was never interested in what you were doing, you never felt the "blessing" of your parents.  Now is time to accept that you can't change the past but you can empower the future.

I pray that you will learn to use a meaningful touch, provide a spoken message, and make a commitment to bless your children.  Empower them to know they bless you and others around them.  Savor the smell of your children's skin, the feel of their hair, and the sound of their voice.  Hug them, listen to them (don't talk, listen), and attach a meaningful value to their presence. I have been reading the book "The Blessing" by John Trent, Ph.D. and Gary Smalley.  It outlines how to achieve these elements of the blessings you will receive when you begin to bless others around you.

Remember, "Jesus took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them" (Mark 10:16).

My prayer today is:

God, my everlasting Father,
I ask for you to encourage all of my friends and family to reach out and bless someone.
Give them the courage to begin using the power of touch and promising commitment to become
better parents, wives, husbands, and friends.
Use our voices to praise, our hands to heal, and our hearts to follow You and Your commands.
In your name,

Tammy

The battle of my thoughts....

So many things run through my mind, as does every woman's mind in a split second, much less all throughout the day!  Laundry, children, husbands, errands, grocery list, family, school, homework, dinner...and oh yeah...my devotion time.  Unfortunately, it runs in that order for me sometimes, and I am confident most of you can sympathize with this!  Have you ever really thought about how much does run through your mind....how much of it is positive?  How much of it is negative?  Unfortunately, our natural temptation is to think negatively...it doesn't take any effort.  Effort comes into play when we grasp positive thoughts.

Joyce Meyer states, "Positive minds full of faith and hope produce positive lives.  The opposite is also true; negative minds full of fear and doubt produce negative lives, which can ultimately destroy your life".   In my personal struggles today, I am examining how many times my innate nature is to be negative, and boy, is it a lot!  When I am at wits end, I think negative, when I am frustrated with a loved one, I think negative, when I have had enough with all the children, I think negative.

Why do you think we do that?  In my opinion, it is because of sin in our lives...Isaiah 64:6 says, "We are all infected and impure with sin.  When we display our righteous deeds, that are nothing but filthy rags.  Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind".  Romans 3:23 states, "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".  Ultimately, what does all of this mean?

It means that we are forgiven, we are made whole, and we can effortlessly come to know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior...does this mean we automatically forget our negative nature?  NOPE!  We have to train our minds to not go that way!!!  We fight things in our mind every single day...every second of the day...so how do we decide to change our way of stinkin' thinking'?  We take a stand and say:  "I'll never give up!  God's on my side. He loves me, and He's helping me!  I'm going to make it" (Joyce Meyer).

I am trying every single day to rewire my brain.  Time and time again I fail, but I know that God is the master healer and fixer!  Discouragement is not my nature, I want to learn to think in a Godly spirit and gradually I will develop His way of thinking, naturally.  This does not mean that I will not ever, never, ever have a negative thought, but this does mean that when I have a negative thought or idea, I will bow on my knees and ask my heavenly father for forgiveness and healing.  I do not want to ever stop trying, nor do I want to give up on my brain, I just want to reprogram it to do better!

Let me pray for you today.

Father in Heaven,
Bless my friends that are reading this right now.
Give them the courage to reprogram their brains to be deterred from negative thinking.
Whatever they are facing or experiencing in their lives right now, give them the strength to face it positively, full force, unwilling to give up on what your desires and expectations are for us as Christians.
If there is any one that is reading this now that does not know you as their Savior,
Lord, I pray that you allow my words to touch their heart,
That they feel the power of your hands on them as I pray for your guidance and expectations for my life to be positively influenced.

In your name I pray,
AMEN!

"You cannot give away something you don't have"...

I have started following Joyce Meyer's blog, and tonight it just so happens, while watching American Idol I decided to click through her website and I can honestly say WOW!  God is amazing!  She has a section about loving God, yourself, and others.

This spoke to me because I don't have a problem loving God, however loving myself?  Wow that is a tall task somedays, and then to throw into the equation loving others?  To understand love, I want to look at Webster's definition of love:

Love-noun 

1.  a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

2.  a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection for a parent, child, or friend

3.  sexual passion or desire

4.  a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart

5.  used as a term of endearment, affection, or the like

Love-verb

1.  to have love or affection for

2.  to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person)

3.  to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in

4.  to need or require; benefit greatly from

5.  to embrace and kiss (someone)

The commonalities in the word love for me are tender, passionate, affection.  Whether we look at it as a noun or a verb, God tells us to love.  Deuteronomy 6:5 provides us with this commandment, "you shall love the Lord your God with all your mind and heart and with your entire being and with all your might." With every single element of your being.  Showing God how we love Him is difficult sometimes.  It requires our obedience.  It is a commandment...not an option.  

To love yourself...to love myself!  "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). Maybe not for you, but for me I fall short on this one.  While evaluating myself, I saw the quote "You cannot give something away that you don't have in you".  Then I thought back over quotes I have heard, and another hit me in the face..."to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world".  How can I be the world, I am Tammy...and then I said, "Tammy, think of one person you don't love"...and I can't think of anyone I don't love...I may not like them, but I love them.  I love people!  Therefore, I have to love myself.  To love myself, do you think that means I like myself 100% of the time?  Nope, nope, and nope! I have faults, I have cellulite, I have glasses, and I sometimes have bad breath!  But you know what, I do love everybody...so I have to love me!

When I think of this, I realized that God's love is a gift, and we are commanded to "love out loud" (Joyce Meyer).  With Valentine's Day coming up, I want to challenge you to think of someone you need to love. Think of ways to show your love and to let His people see how you love GOD!  There is truly only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.

Easy, huh?  Nope!  How many times do you feel unloved?  How many times, as mom's do we feel taken advantage of?  How many times do we feel not pretty enough to be loved?  I will answer, with the energy of love in my life, I want to be motivated to be healed by God to love people, even to love people that do not want to be loved...God is love and you cannot, I repeat cannot give his love away if you do not have it to give.

Put your love in action---reach out and love others.....