and let love. How do you get your nearest and dearest to change their behavior, actions, or feelings? Love them unconditionally, so much so that it hurts (you and them). You maybe asking, "now how do I do that?"...and the answer is....STOP giving a darn what they do!
Do you find yourself being judged, abused, criticized, and feel like nothing is good enough? Well, then close your mouth! Think about, for a moment, what to say...we are like perplexed piranha's. Sometimes we don't know the right thing to say back or even how to escape the criticism and judgement. However, if we would accept people as they are, and realize that they do not need to change for anyone but their own good, we can begin to erase our intense negative emotions that trigger our fears and defensiveness. I have found that loving without caring is sometimes a useful approach. ESPECIALLY WITH FAMILIES! When care appears, unconditional love vanishes! There are many shades of sadness, fear and various outcomes!
When Reed was first diagnosed, exactly one month ago today, my fear for his future somewhat overshadowed his existence. For me loving without care means that I stay calm for him, I love him to pieces but I have to leave my care at the door when he chooses not to eat a snack in the middle of the day. For me loving without care means that I love my mother enough to step back and care enough to walk away. You see real healing and real love are from people who are both totally committed to helping, themselves and others, and are able to emotionally detach.
Our nature is to be anxious and controlling, Reed does not respond to this, nor do many other people in the entire world! I love Reed and do care about what happens to him, however I care because he is still my dependent child, he is my only son (blood son), and he is one of the closest glimpses of heaven I will ever see on earth (and so is Brooke, even when she is huffing at me). But I have to remind myself, no matter how well my intentions are, I have to learn to love without caring what the end result will be.
This is a bumpy ride, especially from the eyes of a 9th grader with Type 1 Diabetes. However I am learning from him that when I feel sad, angry, or anxious I have to stay focused on one being, and that being is GOD! God does not ever have to do anything to make me happy, He never has to change or alter His behavior, and He does not always like mine. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Ask your self by filling in the blanks, "If ________ would only ________ then I could feel __________".
The key element is "I could feel ________".
As much as I would love for my sentence to read "If there were a cure for diabetes I would ask that there be enough medicine to heal everyone in the world, then I could feel confident that Reed will live a very long and prosperous life". However I realized that my sentence should say, "If I would only trust God completely then I could feel honored to be chosen by Him to have a child with Type 1 Diabetes".
The first day of school was trying, and I want to thank you all for your prayers, love, and concern for Reed. I also am so shocked that there have been quite a few people asking where the blog is!!!! Thank you...
Remember that the Walk for Diabetes is September 10 at Fluor Field...let me know if you would like to walk with us!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment